Bored To Blog

Life had been a hectics this day. I've lost my jobs, loves, income, career and what so ever which is good for me. It's so fucked season of my life right now. Like everybody said....it's true and it's definitely true...
" Sudah Jatuh Di Timpa Tangga"

While some people exhibit optimism and resourcefulness, a concerning number succumb to “slow suicide.” Due to abusive from god, life in the society, suicide is actually an option for “coping” with an unbearable reality and an end to the pain suffered.

I'm Leaving My Past Behind

Sorry but i have to said this, " That's it! I'm leaving my past behind, and i'm leaving you.....I'm leaving my jobs and move to somewhere else to stay " I'm moving out..
Don't worry, I am not going to delete this blogs....it is just that i'm moving on ...to somewhere ...someplaces to stress out my mind.....I am only moving my myself! Get isolated and be on my own.

Sorry but it is not related to anybody or anyone. I felt depressed this few years due to ??. Until then, I will not do any posting on this blogs for a period of time. I will only continues with blogging when i'm back home.

You stayed. Because you believe in something. I don't have a future if i stay in the same spot......for now. Someday like me you will realise all that sacrifices than you've done worth nothing to that person. At that time you'll know what to do and what you shud do. Perhaps, being alone and moving out is the solution.

But I want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so rude, unintelligent, childish, selfish,
aggressive, hopeless, and to care too much that i interfere your life and the way it's supposed to be.
I'm sorry for caring when I said I did not, loving when I said I would not. I'm sorry for throwing away the wonderful life you offered. I'm sorry for not respecting myself enough to know that my self-loathing was being spilled over onto you. I don't know what the source of these problems is, but it's not you. I've blamed you, and I am wrong. I love you the only way I know how to love a person, which doesn't seems fit perfect in the eyes of someone who loves as much as you do. I'm so sorry. Don't think about forgiveness...just know that I wish you nothing more than peace.

Lastly what i wanted to say is....."Sorry but i'm leaving everything in the past behind and moving on with my own life." And " I'm just glad....i did (Thanks to the courage that i have).

*~ For a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime? ~*

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered.

And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a season because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real!

But, only for a season.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

I'm Sorry Mr.Bikes

When you have something in your life which you happen to be "to used to it", suddenly when it's gone, you will felt weird and not the same anymore. I'm sorry Mr.Bikes....I'm so sorry to sell you off. There's a lot of memory between me and you.....and you're a part of my life too.

You've bring me places that i could never have been there if it weren't you.
You contains load of sweet and sad memories.....And i have no doubt of your sentimental value for me.

But lately you are giving me so much trouble to maintain you. So i have to sell you.
May the person whom i sold you to, will take good care of you.

Good Bye! Bikes! Good Bye! And I'll always remember i have you before......
I Love You throughout the year you with me.......BYE And GOOD BYE FOREVER...
:`(

Unstable

Everyone is healthy in life. People learn to appreciate their health and to live life to the fullest. One never knows when illness will strike any of us. It took me awhile to realize this after I became ill. It is very hard to adjust to a new environment. I know it is hard. We have all been on that road. Love and enjoy your life to the fullest. Cuz “life is short”

“ Life is short! Why you ‘re still sad? …Forget about the past…..”
“Why must you live a sad life. Can’t you just be happy, Why don’t you look forward to future and live happily”
This words kept lingering in my mind everyday since she told me that.

Again for the first time in my life, i feel so unsure/unsecure of my future.
So much for your kind words, advise and reminder.....*hugsssssssss*.
I’m hanging myself on a tree….

Nature Of A Heart

She stood by the bench and studied the crowd of people making their way to the food court.
Her interest in him had begun long time ago. She's in loves...... But he doesn't know at all. Taking a closer look at him......A simple soft glance from him makes her heart melt. A thoughtful soul and insightful mind.
She discovered the previous owner's name. During the next year and one-month the two grew to know each other through the phone calls and meeting up secretly. A Romance was budding. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like.

The day comes. A young women was running toward him. her figure long and slim. Her black hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears. Her eyes were showing tears of happiness. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her outfit she was like springtime come alive. He started to move toward her. As he moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips.
Almost uncontrollably he made one step closer to her. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray brown eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. He did not hesitate.

Guys : I am so glad you could meet me. May I take you to dinner?"

The girl face broadened into a tolerant smile.
Yes...."But i don't know what this secret meeting is all about," she answered.

The true nature of a heart is seen in it's response to the unattractive.
"Tell me whom you love" "And I will tell you who you are."

Don't Like To See You Cry

My phone rang continuosly and nonstop

Me : Hello!
Caller: Hello!. Are you home? I'm feeling very down, Just want to find someone to chat with. Are you free?
Me : No! i'm At Work, Wat Sup?
Caller: Then nevermind. Don't want to disturb you. That's all then, bye!-bye!

Just cry out if it make you feel good. My shoulder is here, for you to lean, for you to hit.
Just treat me as him, scold all you want, like how he'd hurt you that day.
In love, even if it's a mistake, don't worry, I'll be by your side.
Give you an understanding smile, a warm big hug and a touch on forehead.
Promise to do what I said. There's a window in every troubles of love, open it then you'll see the sunshine.
Start a new life. Leave him. Leave him once and for all. Leave him for the last time he hurt you.
Forget the past. The past is the past, no matter how good how beautiful, it's only the past.
Let me accompany you just to show you the way, head towards the future to find somebody who really love you.
Don't like to see you cry, swollen eyes cuz you cannot see the blue blue sky. There are sunshine beneath the sky. Your kind smiling face, the beautiful you that i used to love, who's understanding towards all.
Don't like to see you cry, happiness won't wait for you forever. The quiet stars at night, twinkling faraway,
I wants you to wipe your tears, and "MAKE A WISH".

Wild Chrysanthemum

Walk past a mud puddle, on it is a wild chrysanthemum flower. It's petals has open, beside it growing new seedlings. In front is a row of bamboo shoots, a farmer living alone in his shed.
Three vegetables plots and three padi fields, growing vegetables and flowers.
Heavy rain keeps pouring down, there's a big puddle on the ground. Grown beautifully and swaying gently, wild chrysanthemum became a water flower. A Wild chrysanthemum...a wild chrysanthemum, is this your home? Is This where you belongs to? It gently shakes its head, this is not my home. Where is your home then?
Swaying gently in the wind, my home is somewhere under the sky. Where is your home then?
Somewhere between the high mountains and thick clouds, searching for it in my dreams..................

Which i realised my life is like the flow and tide of the ocean....Never ever will stay calm and stable.....

Contact

Everytime we meet, it is like an organiser.
Every route I send you, know it well even if I close my eyes, like memorising a book. Feeling of excitement makes me want to cheer, praising this little happiness.

We're able to grab hold of this love, dreams dancing away in my heart. Two hearts in contact, don't need reasons to convince. Love is my gift to you. I'm very confident, this happiness is enough to satisfy for no matter how long. No one is able to prevent. Love is the map you gave me. I follow the route, and going to move into your world to stay.

I don't want to be too blinded by love, come and carry a 'backpack of bliss' with me.

Remembrance ~

I stand at the bus-stop looking at you both, looking at him kissing lightly on your hand.
The shining diamond ring.... sweet meeting, I should give you my blessing kiss. Love is like the rose on your skirt, from now on fluttering in the air beside someone else.
I can only think back but can't go near to someone, who gave up on me?
Love is like a heavy rain, finding a wet and unwanted heart. That person wants to cry, wants to shout, wants to ran towards you. If I could snatch back your love and push away my regrets. If I could. . . . .
The happiness, the tears I owed, I compensate with my future. Snatch back your love?
Then will I understand? Even if it's tough, even if I lose, coz of you, love makes me braver.
Snatch back your love to claim back the past?
Love is selfish and forgiving, it's difficult for love to be fair.

Before Dawn Break

The tired street lights dim one by one as dawn breaks.
I step on the accelerator....vroom!!!! , going along with the wind, unable to close my eyes for the whole night. The sun rays begin to reveal from the horizon, I'm still staying at the edge of darkness. With an oblivious heart, I totally forgot the time, stopping at the very last scene.

Before dawn breaks, you finally said, our love has no tomorrow. Whose appearance, who should say good bye, putting a completed script in front of my eyes. The silent side view of your face, is so beautiful, so far away. You took everything away, emptied my world, this is the coldest season in my life.

Secretly wipe away the tears from my eyes, don't want to be easily seen. Before the sky lightens up today, I have to be mentally prepared not to let my feeling be too obvious.

Whirlpool

Without a word, I stand at the end of the tunnel,
The leaving train sounded its horn and past by.
No signs or shadows, my whole heart is hung upside down,
This time there shouldn't be a wind blowing.

Imminent, imminent, my heart has gone beyond,
Fiery stars, burning into a whirlpool of love, surround me, can't hide away.

Unexpectedly, this loneliness is like a whirlpool,
Surrounding me, can't hide away, can't be broken.

Without a word, you left in silence, your face is expressionless.
Once uncautious, I'll fall into your whirlpool, love you till breathless.
Silence, silence, is the reason for not thinking about you.

Rubbish

I do not care what ever people see me as, or think of me as anymore.
As my loves one had did this to me........."leaving me alone in the dark".
I have scars all over my hand and arm.
My eyes is swollen like a goldfish....hell ya
You wanna think of me as bad ass, then i'm bad ass. You wanna think of me as bastard then i'm a bastard.
Will be wasting my whole life.....

BOYFRIEND VS FRIEND

BOYFRIEND VS FRIEND

Boyfriend

F= Forgives mean to Forget
R= Ready to share everything wit you
I= Intended to help you when you're in troubles
E= Extra care for you compared to others
N= Nice and caring
D= Dare to fight for your right if you're being bully and help to defense u.


Friend

F= "Find 1 day,come out yam cha"(always said the same phrase,but din even call or leave u a text asking you to go out yam cha also)
R= Re-use of each others,to make own self profitable
I= Intended to cabut if he/she knows that u need his/her help!
E= Extra careful with your words,dun mention d sensitive phrase"CAN BORROW ME $?"
N= Need help,they automatically come n find you(but when u need their help,they will say,"sorry leh,i think i cant help you coz.....1001 reasons")
D= "Do what ever u want,as long as dun give me troubles can liao!!!!!"

JUST MY 2 CENT NIA,no offence to anyone ya...

This song do really......reflect....thing

As i was doing nothing, but feeling sad......i stumped upon this song....

Artist : Hoobastank Lyrics
Song : The Reason

i'm not a perfect person. there are many things i wish i didnt do
but i continue learning. i never meant to do those things to you.
and so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you

i'm sorry that i hurt, its something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through, i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears, thats why i need you to hear

i'm not a perfect person, i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
i've found a reason to show a side of me you didnt know
a reason for all that i do, and the reason is you ............................

P/S: Was hoping you understand.....after all this while.....

Meaning Of Unforgiving~*ching*

Unforgiving - One who has difficulty forgiving the hurt or injustice done to them

*sob* *sob*

Words

As i was housekeeping my mailbox i come to an article call words.

Words can bring consolation, comfort, encouragement, and hope.
Words can take away fear, isolation, shame, and guilt.
Words can reconcile, unite, forgive, and heal. - i could not agree with this
Words can bring peace and joy, inner freedom and deep gratitude.
Words, in short, can carry love on their wings.
A word of love can be one of the greatest acts of love.

How true is it? Where is the negativity of this?

Own quote: "Words do more harm and than good."

And i couldn't agree more. If this original article writer is infront of me, surely i'll smack on his head very hard......
Prove it to me.....can you?

Meaning Of Forgive~* ching*

Since love is proved by works and not words alone,
“What we live is more important than what we say, because the right way of living always leads to the right way of speaking.

When we forgive, we forget the fault and accept the apologizes with grateful heart.
When we forgive our neighbours from our hearts, our hearts will speak forgiving words.
When we are grateful, we will speak grateful words, and when we are hopeful and joyful, we will speak hopeful and joyful words.

Choose Love, Choose Happiness

Revenge, Hatred And Unforgiveness Is The Cause Of Sadness.
Are you taking some revenge on someone, And letting him feels what you feels.

Do you feel sad and hurt when someone you love suffers?
Do you feel sad and hurt when you loose something you hold to?
Let all the sad memories go. Just keep the happy one.
You win everything. He lost all completely.

” Life is about making choices. You can choose to hold to negativity like hatred and fear,
Or you can choose to let things go and live with happy thought’s with the one you loved the most.”

So let the fear and hurt go….just like gently letting go something that you hold tightly in your hand.
Don’t let your life go stagnant.
Let things go............
The void of negativity can be filled with love and gratitude.
Choose LOVE , and HAPPINESS will follow.

This What Love Is......And This Is What Love Needs! 

8TV summer live concert in esplanade

Yesterday , went to the 8tv summer live concert in esplanade. Despite breathing like a sick pig, i still attend the gathering. Fuck!!! it's so crowded with 80, 000 people in the field. Not counting those without tickets and outside the field viewer....

It is so pack and damn.... the rela, 8tv crew and the organizer.....for not having to be able to control the situation there. Joey is late...thus the concert were not finished in time. It is late...till 11.58pm. Going home late at night , soaked and wet.....Cuz they are spraying water from bomba hose halfway during the concert to kept the crowd cool because they are all sweating like hell.

My friend all are having fun there.....except me......
Missing something.......and i'm really just so stupid fuck to attend the concert there in esplanade...which i could just watch it on 8TV. Remind me....if she were there, i would really have great time....
Argh....why everything must be her? Why ? Is she special or what?

There's a girl whom my fren bring along asking me to go seaside together after the concert.
KNNCCB la......i'm not interested in you la. Cibai la.......you think i would betrayed my friend and go out with you?
Don't you know my friend wanna tackle you? Don't pretend you know nothing. FUCK I would not betrayed my friend...
And i would not go out with other gals except her.

Reasonable Quote?

Quote : "No one is worth your tears, and the one who is worth, wont make you cry.. "

Is it a reasonable quote. Well, for me i think it's NOT reasonable at all!
Because is it like asking you.....

What comes first? "A chicken or A chicken EGG?"
If you say a chicken EGG, if there's no chicken to lay the egg where the egg comes from?
If you say CHICKEN, before there's a chicken there'll supposed to be a chicken egg, before hatching into a chicken.

Anyone can answer this?

What Type Of Guy Is Cool~~~?

As i happen to going through some really rough time in life, i have noticed something in real life.
What type of guys which is consider cool to gals.
Type A ( Da Cool Dude)
1. Have Load Of Gals Around
2. Walk Around, Eat Around, Sleep Around
3. Play And Leaving Without A Word
4. Easy To Get Over
5. Short Term Relationship
6. Moreover ....Got Money
7. No Need To Work
8. Dun Care
9. Drive Luxury Car, Sport Car, Modified Car Or Imported Car
10. Only Think For Ownself

Type B ( The Not Cool Dude)
1. The Type That Stick To One
2. Stay In One Place
3. Too Much Hope .....And Too Much Talking
4. Worried And Care Too Much
5. Long Term Planning
6. Earn A Fix Income.
7. Normal 9-5
8. Get Jealous
9. Locally Assembled (hehe....etc PROTON)
10. Too Much Thinking

Guess.....i fall in the Mr. No No Cool Category.
Oh....What The Hell......! I'm worse than Mr. No No Cool.

I Don't Want To

I Don't Want To....

I don't want to go to work......
I don't want to go out with friend .......either
I don't want to watch TV.....
I don't wanna go anywhere.......
I don't wanna be alone........
I don't wanna drink.....
I don't wanna eat momma....I dun....want to.....
I don't have the energy to do thing...........
.....I just wanna sleep.......SLEEP till DEATH.

GOD....if you're so mighty and powerful.....Please BLESS me with this WISH.

Blog?....Duh :'(

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=life_feel
Check this cool blog.....Very touching and life feel....

My eyes could see you,
My heart could feel you,
My breath could sense you,
I knew i love you,
B4 i met you...........( Yeah....Same as what i experience, And much more than i love you)

I need you, i want you, i love you, and i care for you..............4 EVA
You are all i ever need....


Sometimes she lies to you,so that you won't get hurt.she actually loves you... - Life Feel
(Nice quote, But no matter what BEING APART is worst than being together. You missed her everyday, you'll be hurt and sad when she is not with you)

Ten Thing That I Had In My Mind Right Now:

1. Changes Of Jobs?
2. Sell Of My Car?
3. Where Is My Claim?
4. What The Hell Happen To My Car Alarm System?
5. Where Is Little One? Is She Fine?
6. Does Little One Missed Me?
7. What The Best Way To Make More Money?
8. How To Become Rich In No Time?
9. Till When I'm Going To Live?
10. 05-07-2005 What To Do?

It's Kinda True...

If a girl cries in front of u,it means that she can't take it anymore.
If u take her hand,she would stay with u for the rest of ur life.
If u let her go, it will be hard for her to go back to being herself with you once again.
But sometimes it's possible.....

A gal wont cry easily,except in front of the person whom she loves the most,she becomes weak.
A gal wont cry easily,only when she loves u the most,she put down her ego.
Guys, if a gal cries bcoz of u,please hold her hands firmly,coz she's the one who is willing tostay with u 4 for the rest of ur life.
Guys, if a gal cries bcoz of u,please dont give her up,maybe bcoz of ur decision,u'L ruin her life.

When she cries right in front of u,
When she cries bcoz of u,
Look into her eyes,
Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling?Think..............

Which other girl has cried with pure sincerity,....i know 1....and i regret
In front of u,
And bcoz of u?
She cries not because she is weak.
She cries not bcoz she wants sympathy or pity.
She cries......Because crying silently is no longer possible,the pain, hurt n agony have bcome toobig a burden to be kept inside.

Guys,Think about it!!!!!!!
If a gal cries her heart out to u, and all because of u, its time to look back on wat u have done.
Only u will know the answer to it. Do consider it! B'coz one day,It may b too late for regrets,It may b too late to say "I'M SORRY".


-ming-

Too many question ....Too little time

Too many question ....Too little time

Sigh....................
At some certain point(moment in life), I just lost my self again and again.
This left me clueless. Who am i? What should i do? What are the next step i should take?
What future do i hold? What happen to me? Why this happening to me? Why this and why that...!!

Just lost it. Just lost myself again........

Taiwan Chilli Oii!!!! 

Taiwan Chilli Oii!!!! 

The Attraction 

The Man 

GTR driver 

The Rival 

Initial D

Yeah!!.....Got a free sneak preview ticket given to me by mah 2nd brother!
Watch it on On 22nd June 2005. Great movies. How touching the stories. Lot's of funny scene too.

Gay Chou (Jay Chou) was a good actor himself too. Worth it. But the feeling of watching the movie is not the same which when i go with her. Sigh...!!!!!!!!!!!

Hooray!!! I got car sticker and poster.....Thanks Bro.....Thanks!

Is Faithfull The Magic Word? Is Faithfull Is Enough

The Answer To This Is " NO".
When you did something wrong, then everything is seems to be forgotten. All that you done, including the rainbow that you've painted in her heart is all erased, forgotten and down to the drain.

Guys, out there...... eternal love, pure love and true love is just a fairy tales.
Do not break your loves one heart. What you do everything you do, all would we useless.
Real life is like that.....And guys guys guys.....Don't watch fairy tales movie etc.
" Fly Back To Polaris".....It's Not True.

Mr. & Mrs Smith?

Thumb Up! The Movies Is Great.

Watch It On Saturday, At 7:25PM , Gurney GSC
Must Be 18 And Above To Be Able To Bought The Ticket.

Definitely A Value For Rm9

Moving On?

Crawling through the unending emptiness, just want to give up and lie down.

Become part of the sand, melt into the ground leaving a silent skeleton. All alone.
But no...have to move on. Step by step, forwards and onwards. At night, under the big, black sky, stars bright and strange.. just move on, move on in the endless night into the endless day.

And it goes on, the sand...the sand..the same sand, so unbearably vast, so huge, forever. When will it end?